Enough with the lemons already!
After dealing with some very shitty lemons thrown my way recently, I have returned from my social media hiatus to reface the world and demand my margarita.
I mean really – where does it say that we have to accept every negative that comes our way with emotionless passivity? I’ve certainly been guilty of falling into the trap of saying “Ah well, there are people worse off than me so I’d best suck it up and get on with life” and it’s even worse when you have others dismiss your turmoil with “Ah well – it’s not brain cancer so what are you complaining about?”
And yes, there is SOME truth in that as we don’t want to become bogged in the mire of self-pity and inertia. Ultimately we CAN still find purpose, direction and dare I say – joy – even after crap happens to us. HOWEVER – before we do so, there are some steps that need to occur:
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Acknowledgement that something crappy has happened to you and it SUCKS.
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Tears / anger / grieving for what you have lost.
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Time out to reconnect with what soothes your soul. For me, it was playing with art – something I have been “too busy” to do for the past 7 years.
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Re-entering of the world ready to work out your “new normal” – understanding that there may be times when you need to revisit the first 3 steps.
Your lemon might be a huge one like cancer or death of a loved one – or it might be a job loss or some inexplicable illness that has changed your world even though you look fine on the outside…..
The magnitude of the lemon itself is not the issue though. If it has caused you grief / pain / distress – ESPECIALLY life altering distress – give yourself the gift of time in order to follow the steps above.
Then when you are ready – re-enter the world determined to create a “new normal” that allows you to live a purposeful and impacting life.
Anyone else been playing “dodge the lemon” over the past few weeks? I know that I am by no means alone and will be doing some live-streams and having conversations about how to move forward over the next few weeks in the free ROCKING MIDLIFE group. If you are a 40+ woman, come and join the conversation HERE.
Cat x
July 16, 2018 @ 3:57 am
My way of dealing with life’s lemons is to head out of the door for a run before the weight of anxiety in my chest gets the better of me. It’s funny though-I live in Cyprus and at many times throughout the year all the trees are dripping lemons! More and more lemons-I’m surrounded by them! There’s no escape 😂
July 16, 2018 @ 10:05 am
Ironically, our lemon tree is heavy with almost ripe lemons, and I have been thinking about what to do with them all. Some I will give away. Some I will make into things I can give away (lemon curd anyone?). Some I will juice and have on hand for those summer margaritas I am yearning for.
During my season of lemons I have found journalling really helpful. Also making time to rest – which feels counter intuitive when you feel you are falling behind. But my most helpful way of dealing has been allowing myself to be vulnerable with the ones I love and trust. Not only to accept their love and help, but also to ask them to trust me when I tell them what I do and don’t need. The more I do this – the more we are able to all be there for each other.
July 23, 2018 @ 1:08 pm
“My most helpful way of dealing has been allowing myself to be vulnerable with the ones I love and trust.” I love this! Thanks so much for sharing Darlene x
July 16, 2018 @ 11:51 am
Thank you for posting this message. It is applicable to my life situation right now. I truly believe God gives you what you need in times of turmoil; this message is what I needed. You may have to look a little harder or further to find the message but it is always there. I also truly believe that you do have to be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to feel and process the emotions. I have been trying hard the past few years to be mindful of the things that serve me well and the things that don’t. Thanks again for sharing.
July 23, 2018 @ 1:09 pm
Thanks so much for commenting Nancy and I pray that you get the answers and peace you need during your “lemon season” <3 Cat x